That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was like consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.